A LETTER FROM MICHAEL

Dear Tom

I hope you had a good break. To be honest it was a bit boring here without Boris and Carrie – there was just no party spirit.

You may have noticed that I sent you a little holiday reading – the Blurb as I call it or the Blasted Leveling Up and Regeneration Bill. It’s only 32 pages long – the civil servants who draft these things are obviously fans of Tolstoy.

You’ll notice that the bill is now so watered down so much it could be a homeopathic medicine (Charlie would like that).

You might think that we have a solid majority in the Commons but don’t be so naïve. Anything that’s put forward will immediately draw the wrath of at least 50 of our mob. That’s means no majority.

What with the oiks from the Red Wall and the Bananas (Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone) from the Blue Wall, we have no hope of passing anything except wind – hence the BLURB.

Handing over power to the local Conservative Associations full of ‘mad, swivel-head loons’ as one of Cameron’s crew called the association members is crazy. No wonder we ended up with Liz.

Popped by Rishi’s office just before Christmas and he was scribbling away furiously at his desk with papers all over the floor. At first, I thought he was doing last-minute Christmas cards but they were all spreadsheets.

‘How’s it looking?’, I asked. ‘Bad and getting worse. Next year is bad and 2024 when we are due to have the election is worse. I think we might go in September 2023’, he said. ‘September 21 is a Thursday and 2 plus 1 is 3 which is a special number in Hinduism.’

I left him to it musing that despite all the spreadsheets, we are still relying on religious superstition.

So, I put a call into Rupert to see if that job at The Times was still going. George (six jobs Osborne) did really well after his stint with Lord Lebenev at the Evening Standard.

Finally, I think your account has been hacked by The Chinese Communist Party (The CCP) as there is a really poor imitation of your blog doing the rounds.

Have a great New Year

MG

Yours Ever

PS. The Twitchin' Curtin, my acerbic view of planning politics, is posted every Friday morning. May I wish you all a very happy and successful New Year. My new company PRWatch launches next week to help developers find the best PR company. Tom.